Shattered Hopes
by BloodAngelsFan11
Summary: Ashley Williams long thought Shepard dead, but now that they are reunited will things be the same? Will he accept her or has he moved on?-First Mass Effect Fanfic, but please be brutal in reviews, all criticism is good. T for language/to be safe
1. Chapter 1

She had faced down the most horrendous things this galaxy had to offer. She had fought legions of geth on dozens of worlds, she had fought a creature millennia old, she had fought walking corpses brought back to life by ancient machines, she had hunted a rogue Spectre across all of Citadel Space and beyond… she had watched the man she loved die. She had done this all with stoicism to do her family proud, yet as she slowly stalked toward the entrance to the office of Councilor Anderson Ashley Williams was more nervous than she could ever remember being.

After returning from Horizon the first thing she had done was confront Anderson about Shepard. She had thought that the man she loved had been dead for two years, and then out of nowhere he comes to save her on some backwater colony in the Traverse. Her anger had been a bit misplaced, in retrospect. After reflecting on it Ash realized that she had truly been angry at herself for how she handled the situation.

_"Anderson, why didn't you tell me Shepard was alive? She asked._

_ Anderson's face had confusion plastered on it, but Ash didn't believe it was genuine. "What makes you think I knew he was alive before this?"_

_ Ash saw through the lie. "I know that the first thing Shepard would do is report to you."_

_Anderson sighed resignedly_ _"I couldn't risk you letting your past relationship get in the way of what you had to do." he said_. _"I thought that if you knew you would have abandoned your duties to search for him." _

_ "How long have you known?" she asked through barred teeth. She wasn't sure whether she was angrier about him not telling her, or doubting her resolve. _

_ Councilor Anderson just stared at her with the calm, collectiveness that had made him a great officer; and allowed him to really annoy her. "He came to the embassy a few weeks ago to inform the Council that he lived, and as a symbol of good faith they renewed his Spectre status. He asked about you, and I said that you were on a classified mission." _

_Ashley blinked in surprise. Shepard had been asking about her? "What else did he ask?" _

_ "After I refused to tell him, he just walked out the door." replied Anderson. _

_ She needed to get back on track; there were more important things than whatever they had had together. "Did you know that he was working for Cerberus?" _

_ The Councilor nodded the affirmative "He openly admitted to working __**with **__Cerberus, yet told us that as soon as the business with the Collectors was over he planned to sever all ties to the organization." _

_ She knew there was something else. "What aren't you telling me, Councilor?" _

_ For once in his life David Anderson seemed apprehensive, "He came here yesterday to demand why I hadn't told him you were in the Traverse, and to tell me how the illusive Man had purposely leaked rumors to get you on Horizon; the Illusive man wanted to prove if the Collectors were targeting people close to Shepard." _

_ She couldn't believe this! "So we were doing what Cerberus wanted us to all along!" she yelled, followed by a scream of aggravation. _

_ "He also told me to give you this." Anderson said as he handed her a small amulet._

_ "This was his father's amulet; it was the one thing of his father's that he kept." Why would he give her this? "Did he say anything else?"_

_ "No" said the Councilor, slowly "He told me to give that to you then wandered off. I haven't heard any more of him._

Unconsciously her hand reached up to touch the gold amulet hanging around her neck. It wasn't the same one that Anderson had handed her- that was crammed in her pocket- but it was one that Shepard had bought her after the battle of the Citadel. It was engraved with the poem _Ulysses_; he had bought it for her "so she wouldn't forget it".

She had worn it every day for two years to remind herself of Shepard after he had passed on. The only time she had taken it off since the _Normandy_ was destroyed was after Horizon. She had vowed to get rid of it, but had begun wearing ever since speaking with the Councilor.

"Damn it, girl" snapped Udina, being his usual irritable self "I have pressing business with Councilor Anderson and Commander Shepard, if you can't muster the courage to go in let me by!"

"Get a grip, Udina." If there was good choice Shepard had made after the Battle, it was promoting Anderson above Udina "You're not in charge any more, you get to wait in lines like everyone else now."

The irate Ambassador was positively infuriated "What! I still have the authority to have the Alliance strip your rank and-"

"And Anderson can countermand that action" Ashley interjected.

Udina just grumbled something under his breath about a "lovesick bitch" and stood behind her. The worst part was, Ashley thought to herself, Udina was right. She had nearly broken down that door countless times if she felt that something was not right, or if she needed to talk to Anderson; But now that she needed to answer one of the most important questions in her life, she was afraid to find the answer. Did Shepard still love her?

It had been nagging at the back of her mind since Horizon. She wasn't going to pretend she hadn't tried to date again, or that she had thought about him always, but Shepard had held a special place in her heart. She shook her head to clear her thoughts. It was now or never, she told herself as she pushed the buttons on the console to open the door and stepped inside.

Strangely the first thing she noticed was the people Shepard had brought with him. As well as a woman donning a Cerberus uniform -the sight of which made her scowl- she saw Tali, of all people… or at least she thought it was Tali. The suit looked a little different but she was pretty positive that the quarian standing in the embassy was her old friend.

Shepard turned away from the Councilor and stared straight at her, wide-eyed "Ash? What are you doing here?"

Tali waved to her earnestly but something about her body language seemed a little… tense. Nervous, maybe? Tali was never the most forward person, though, so Ash didn't give it a second thought.

The woman in the Cerberus uniform -Ash thought she had been on Horizon- nodded to acknowledge Ashley being there. "Chief Williams, I'm glad you could join us." Ash noticed a slight smirk on the woman's face that just oozed smugness.

Shepard looked at her and said, his voice full of warmth "It's good to see you again, Ash. We were just reporting to Anderson that we made it through the Omega 4 Relay, destroyed the Collector base and that we have officially broken away from Cerberus."

She was stricken by how casually he said that, how apparently commonplace for him to do things that others said were impossible; then again, he did seem to make a habit of it. And of course she was glad to hear he had split from Cerberus, that made what she was about to do a whole lot easier "Nothing special for you, right skipper?"

Shepard gave a goodhearted chuckle before saying "I suppose not. However, back to my original question, what are you doing here?"

This was it. She had made up her mind on the way to the embassy. Here goes nothing. "I came to speak to you."

Shepard seemed a bit perplexed as he spoke, "What about, Ash?"

Ashley took a deep breath before going on "With your consent I would like to request a temporary leave of absence from my duties with the Alliance to serve with the _Normandy _crew."

Shepard was shocked by the turn of events but Anderson didn't seem surprised. Shepard sounded confused when he said "I'd gladly welcome you back to the team Ash but…well… we didn't necessarily part on the best of terms."

Ashley grimaced a bit at that. She knew she had been vehement on Horizon, but she had apologized in her message. She knew that wasn't good enough, but at least she had tried. "I understand, Shepard. I would still like to join your crew for a time."

Shepard looked over at the Councilor. "Anderson?"

Anderson nodded, "Request approved, Chief Williams."

Ashley looked up. "Shepard, I think we need to talk."

Shepard looked at his squadmates, "Miranda, I want you and Tali to gather up the crew and return to the _Normandy_, Chief Williams and I will be along shortly.


	2. Chapter 2

Ashley and Shepard sat by the edge of the lake, having tried to find a secluded spot upon leaving Anderson's office. The still surface of the water gave the whole Presidium a feeling of tranquility, yet did little to put Ashley at ease. She was about to say something but Shepard went first.

"Ash, I understand why you acted like you did on Horizon."

Ashley had never been so caught off guard before. She kept her composure quite nicely though. "I'm glad to hear you say that, Commander."

Shepard went on, "I know how things must have seemed to you, why you couldn't go with me, but I couldn't see that at the time. But Ash, you have to understand that I was doing the right thing! I would never work with Cerberus unless it was for a good reason."

Now it was Ashley's turn to own up to her mistakes. "I know, and I'm sorry that I doubted you. It's just… I'm an Alliance soldier; I couldn't just leave my duties behind to go with you. And how was I supposed to trust Cerberus? They've done horrible things in the past, to us and to the rest of the galaxy. Every time I hear the name Cerberus I think of Admiral Kahoku and his men, and about Corporal Toombs." She paused, letting her apology sink in. This is how it should have been on Horizon; the two of them being able to talk about their problems, not the horrid mess it was. "I'm glad that you've split from Cerberus; that you're still the same man I knew."

Shepard chuckled a bit at that, "Not exactly the same, I've found a few extra bits and pieces." Ash giggled, if just to relieve the tension.

Now that that was out of the way, she thought that it was time to get her answer. Could things ever be how they were before? While she thought about this her mind wandered to a moment in their past that she had often thought of before.

_As they sat next to each other, gazing at the tranquil, reflective waters of the Presidium, Ashley thought to herself how she must be the luckiest woman in the galaxy. She looked over to Shepard sitting there lovingly next to her and snuggled closer to him, placing her hands over his, basking in the moment as they shared their love in silence, no words spoken but none needed to tell the other how they felt. _

_ "Ash," he quietly said to her in a loving voice._

_ "Yes, skipper?" she said in reply_

_ "I wanted to give you something," he said to her as he fished through his pockets, eventually retrieving a golden amulet "I had this made for you down in the Wards."_

_ Ashley took the amulet and slowly turned it about in her hand. _-I cannot rest from travel, I will drink life to the lees, all time I have enjoyed greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those that loved me, and alone- _On the other side it read _-For always roaming with a hungry heart, much have I seen and known; cities of men, and manners, climates, councils, governments, myself not least, but honoured of them all- _Tears began to well in her eyes as she thought of her father, about the little time they spent together, about the times she read this poem for him… about the time she recited this passage for Shepard. She turned to Shepard and whispered "Thank you; this is the most beautiful gift anyone has ever given me."_

_ Shepard returned "And you are the most beautiful gift ever given to the world"_

_ Ashley chuckled at that, "You're awful, skipper."_

_ He grinned "Ashley, I want you to know that whatever happens, wherever our lives may take us, I will always love you. I gave this to you, Ash, so that whenever you feel lost, or alone, you will always remember that I am there for you; that even when I'm gone I'll watch over you."_

_ No words could express how she felt then, so Ashley turned over and kissed him, running one hand through his short black hair, feeling his prickly stubble against her face. Ashley would forever remember this; this, the happiest moment of her life._

Just one part of that played through her mind; _I will always love you. _Was that true? She had to find out, if just for some closure. "Shepard, there's one more thing I need to talk about."

Shepard nodded, "I know what this is about."

Ashley went on, "Shepard… do you still love me?" That was a simple way of putting it, but sometimes the simple way is the best.

Shepard sighed before speaking in a soft, gentle tone. "Ash, it's not that simple. Of course I still love you; you never truly stop loving someone!"

Ashley finished what she imagined he was going to say. "But you're not in love with me." She felt sadness grip her heart. Part of her had been expecting this to happen, though. She was a grown woman; she would move on.

Shepard hesitated a bit before saying "No… Ash, I'm so sorry. If you don't want to keep the posting-"

Ashley stopped him "Shepard, I'm not some young girl who's going to run off crying. Even if whatever we had is lost, there's still no place I'd rather be than the Normandy."

Shepard grinned a bit before concernedly asking. "You're not mad?"

Ashley rolled her eyes despite herself; Shepard had always been too concerned about her feelings. It was sweet but sometimes it annoyed her. "No. Am I sad? Of course I am! But I went into this knowing that you might say no, and I intend to follow through. Besides, what's more important than 'saving sentient life across the galaxy?' I'd just like you to do one thing for me."

Shepard probably knew what she was going to say. "What?"

Ashley wanted to know this, if just to not have it in doubt. "Who is it? Is it Miranda?"

Shepard apparently found something about that funny, because he laughed to himself as he said "No, not for lack of effort on Miranda's part."

Ashley just left him to his amusement. He found some of the strangest things humorous. "Then who?"

Shepard seemed hesitant, but he finally spoke up. "I owe you that much… It's Tali."

Ashley was dumbstruck. Of everyone in the galaxy, her Quarian friend was the last person she would expect. "Really?"

Shepard seemed a bit insulted by her disbelief. "Yes, really! Just because she's in a suit doesn't make her less of a person, less deserving of love!" His voice was filled with conviction.

Ashley tried to placate him, "There's nothing wrong with that, I'm just a bit surprised." Questions raced through her mind. How had they met up again? When did they start being a couple? She settled on that second question. "When did this happen?"

Shepard thought a bit before beginning to explain. "A while back Tali was accused by the Admiralty Board of committing treason by sending back active geth parts to the Flotilla. After returning to the fleet it turned out that her father had been experimenting with the geth, when they overran his vessel. We retook the ship to find evidence that proved her innocence, but the only evidence incriminated her father. She begged me not to show the evidence, so I did as she wished. I still managed to win the trial and clear her name. After that we started getting a bit closer, until things just fell into place."

Ashley nodded, a bit moved by the story to be honest, before asking "What does her father think of this?"

Shepard's face took on a grim look. "He died when his ship was overrun."

Ashley gasped, "Poor Tali!"

Shepard seemed saddened by the thought, "Although she kept doing her duties, it hurt her a lot. It helped her a bit, though, knowing that her father will be remembered as a hero instead of a criminal."

Ashley nodded sagely. She knew how hard it was to lose your father, as did Shepard. They were silent for a moment before Ash half-jokingly said "I hope you're treating her right?"

Apparently Shepard didn't notice the humor because his face became very serious. "I would never do anything to hurt Tali, and I'd do anything to protect her."

Ashley felt a slight pang of jealousy at how he spoke about Tali, but she forced it down. She would have to accept his decision, and she wouldn't go about taking out her sadness on Tali. She stood up, saying "I think it's about time we headed to the Normandy, I figure that I should get to know the crew. And I'd like to talk to Tali."

Shepard nodded his agreement, lazily stretching before heading to the nearest rapid transit terminal. "Come on, let's go. And just a brief warning; the new crew can be a bit overwhelming at times. Maybe Tali or Garrus can help you get settled in."

Ashley was a bit more excited now. Garrus was also on the crew? Between her, Garrus and Tali they had half of the old squad. "I suppose I could drop by and say hello to Garrus."

They quickly reached the transport terminal and headed to Zakera Ward. Ashley had some things to think about on the way.


	3. Chapter 3

Ashley was thoughtful as she and Shepard headed back to the Normandy. She was disappointed by the turn of events; she still loved Shepard. However, if any woman was to be with Shepard instead of her she was glad it was Tali. Tali was a nice person; she cared about others more than herself, she always gave and never expected anything in return. Shepard and Tali were a good match, she supposed. But she wanted to talk to Tali about it, to figure out how their relationship was. She had no plans to break them up or anything -she was a military woman, she could accept loss- but she wanted to know they were both happy.

The two soldiers approached the dock where the _Normandy_ was waiting. It was a lot larger than the original, and she imagined that there were some upgrades made. They entered the airlock, which was surprisingly similar to the old one. After the decontamination was over she took a few steps forward before hearing a familiar voice call out "Ash!"

She looked to the fore of the _Normandy_ to see Joker walking towards her, arms open as if to give her a hug. Wait, she thought, eyes widening. Joker… walking! Before she could open her mouth to speak Ash felt herself crushed in a surprisingly strong embrace.

Joker started laughing, "Ha! It's good to see you Ash. Now if only Liara would quit her job on Illium and Wrex would leave Tuchanka we'd have the old team back together!" Ash couldn't tell if he was sincere or if he was joking.

As Joker let up Ash drew in a deep, gasping breath. "Wow… Joker… you're uh… looking better."

Joker noticed the awkwardness tingeing her voice. "I know what you're wondering. When I signed on Cerberus gave me new legs. It's still pretty difficult but I don't need my crutches anymore."

She quickly went to something else. "You're certainly a lot… stronger… than I though you'd be."

Shepard fought down a chuckle, while staring at Joker accusingly. "Well, he's made sure his arms are in good shape at the piloting terminal, haven't you Joker?"

Joker pointed at Shepard, indignantly shouted "It was one time Commander. One time!"

Ash mulled to herself over what they were saying before something clicked. "Joker! That's sick!" She laughed a bit though, because it was kind of amusing.

Joker looked at her abashed "Hey, you want sick? You should hear Tali and the Commander up in his quarters!"

Shepard glared, and Ashley herself wasn't too placated by the comment either. Shepard angrily articulated "You've been eavesdropping on my room? First I want to know why, and second I want to know how."

Joker cursed under his breath as he realized he had backed himself into a foxhole. "Well… I… uh… you see… help me out here EDI!"

A synthesized voice rang out above them "Jeff said that he wanted payback for the aforementioned incident at the terminal, which he learned from Garrus that you had talked to others about, so he planted a recording device in your quarters to find something with which he could have vengeance."

Joker was speechless for a moment before voicing his agreement. "Yeah, what she said."

Shepard seemed not the least conciliated, if anything he seemed angrier. "And what exactly are one these 'recordings'?"

As Joker began stammering again Ashley headed towards the elevator; If this was like the old Normandy she should know her way around. In the background she could still hear Joker rambling on with excuses or justifications. "Well, Commander, it's like this; I didn't hear-"

By now she was out of earshot as the elevator doors opened. A slight, red-headed woman waved at her as she passed and introduced herself, oblivious to the fact that Ashley didn't really care who she was. "Hi! I'm Kelly Chambers; I'm the Commander's secretary. You must be Ms. Williams! Shepard talked about you a lot. I received a message that you were to be joining the crew so I thought I should introduce myself."

Ashley just shook her head in bemusement as she walked past into the elevator. She looked at the different decks until something caught her eye. _Deck 4. Crew Members on Deck; Grunt, Jack, Zaeed, Tali'Zorah_. She pressed the button and stood impatiently as the elevator descended with painstaking slowness. You'd think that with all of the advance technology at their disposal the ship designers could have put in a faster elevator. She was grateful when her brief trip was over, and she began to walk through the door labeled _Engineering_.

As the door opened Ashley accidentally bumped into the person going out. She was a notably small woman with a shaved head and a huge mass of tattoos covering her body. She was also apparently in a bad mood because she immediately started shouting. "Watch where the fuck you're going!"

Ashley wasn't usually a confrontational person, but she wasn't going to back down. "Sorry, I couldn't see you from up here." Maybe it was a little harsh, but she had a feeling this woman deserved it.

The shorter woman's eyes blazed with fury and a blue glow surrounded her, "What the fuck did you say to me!"

Ashley started to walk past her, saying "I said take your own advice."

The woman grabbed her arm, saying "You got a lot of nerve talking to me like that. I think we'll get along fine. Name's Jack. Now stay out of my way next time or I'll have to kill you." Jack released Ashley and headed down to the sub-deck. Ashley put the strange encounter to the back of her mind as the doors to the engineering core hissed open.

* * *

Tali stood against the wall, feeling a bit bored in all honesty. The ship was done repairs -most of the repairs had been done on Elysium but they had to get some things done on the Citadel- and the new paint was applied. Everything was great; the engines were working at optimal capacity, the calibrations were done… not that Garrus seemed to know that. Why was he always calibrating that gun? As nice as it was to be on the Citadel for a few days, she kind of wanted to be traveling the galaxy again. Even if most of what they would be doing was diplomatic missions to try and gather support against the Reapers and begin preparations, at least there was always something to do. And when they were traveling Tali and Shepard could always find time for each other. Or could they?

Tali was always afraid that Shepard would leave her for someone else. Why would he want her? Miranda was beautiful, smart, outgoing. Shepard could touch her without getting her sick. As much as she loved him she never understood why he would love her, when he could have any other woman he wanted. She had been a bit nervous about Ashley asking to be part of the crew because she and Shepard had been a couple once, and maybe he would take her back. Tali felt guilty about that thought. She wanted Shepard to be happy, and Ashley was her friend.

It was at that moment that Ashley walked through the door and right up to Tali, a look of determination on her face. Tali nervously blurted out her thoughts when Ashley was about to open her mouth. "Ashley, I am so sorry! I know that you loved Shepard and I took him and if you want him back I understand." Tali hated it when she rambled like that, but she always did when she was nervous.

Ashley seemed a bit amused. Tali spoke more slowly this time "You're not here because you're mad at me for being with Shepard?"

Ashley shook her head. "Tali, why would I be mad at you? It's not like it's your fault that we're not together; it's not like you 'stole' him from me. We talked it out, and I understand that things won't be how they were."

Tali was confused. "You mean you don't care that Shepard and I are, um, dating? I think that's what you'd call it."

Ashley smiled a bit as Tali stumbled over her words. "That's not what I said. Am I upset that we won't be together? Yes. But I can accept that." She laughed as she said "It seems to me that you and he are a perfect match; you both seem to think I'll be mad at you, or that I'll go storming off. That's the thing about sensitive people, I suppose."

Tali was relieved more than she could possibly express. "Then what did you want to talk about? Unless, you don't want to talk any more. I'll understand if you want to go-"

Ashley interjected before Tali could keep on ranting. "Well, I just wanted to hear your take on you relationship. To make sure you're happy."

Tali suddenly felt like she was put on the spot. What could she say to make Ashley know how great things were? Ashley noticed her friend's distress, saying "Well, how about I just ask you questions? The first thing that comes to mind is if you two have... 'linked suits', I think is what Quarians call it"

Tali didn't feel very comfortable talking to people about what she and Shepard did in private- Keelah, when Auntie Raan had asked about it had been horrendous!- but still, this was Ashley. She at least deserved an answer. "Well, there have been two or three times… the first was before we went into the relay."

Ashley nodded, but then stopped and asked "Wouldn't that make you sick, though? I mean really sick?"

Tali started to give the speech she gave almost by rote. "Well, we don't actually get sick. What we suffer is an acute allergic reaction as our bodies acclimatize to-" She stopped as she noticed Ashley losing interest. "Was there anything else?"

Ashley snapped out of her brief daze. "Well, Tali, I'd like you to talk about it. I don't need to sit here playing twenty questions, I don't think."

Tali nodded thoughtfully. "Okay, um, well I met Shepard's mother a few days ago."

Ashley seemed thoroughly surprised. "Really? I never even met Shepard's mother. How'd that go? And what made you want to do that?"

Tali didn't know where to begin so she just said whatever came to her, "Well, after we came back from the Collector base Shepard wanted to spend more time with me and


	4. Chapter 4

_ Captain Hannah Shepard,_

_ My name is Tali'Zorah; you might remember me since I was on the crew of the first _Normandy_. I really feel that we needed to talk about the Commander, your son that is. He and I are… dating, and he thought that we should get to know each other. I was wondering if you would care to meet us on Elysium so we might become acquainted. I figured you wouldn't oppose to the Shepard Memorial Plaza. I'd really like to talk._

_ -Tali'Zorah vas Normandy_

_ Tali stood by the airlock, arms folded beneath her breasts, staring impatiently at Shepard as he paced back and forth anxiously. "Tali, why couldn't you have at least let me talk to my mother? I thought that you should meet, yes, but… but… you should have let me arrange it!" Although it had been his idea Shepard had been obsessing all day about meeting with his mother, and getting nervous about everything. Was she like this when she got nervous?_

_ Tali started to have doubts as she spoke "Is it the location? I can change the meeting place if that's bother-"_

_ Shepard interrupted her. "No, no Tali the spot is fine it's just… I'm beginning to wonder if this was a good idea."_

_ Tali grabbed his arm and made him look her in the eyes… or in the general area of her eyes "Shepard, this needs to be done sooner or later. I would be lying if I said I am looking forward to you explaining 'us' to Auntie Raan, but we're both going to have to get it over with eventually. Also, the crew needs some shore leave."_

_ Shepard stared at her for a moment before going back to his normal, teasing self. "Tali'Zorah, did anyone ever tell you you're sexy when you're imposing?" His face was split by a beaming grin. _

_ Tali couldn't help but attempt at a witty retort, "And did anyone ever tell you, Shepard, that you can be really irritating when you're nervous?"_

_ Shepard, as always, just kept rolling with the punches -metaphorically of course, most people who tried to punch Shepard ended up on the ground gasping for breath- "Why, believe it or not, someone has! I do believe Miranda said something very similar…" _

_ Tali wanted to hit him. He knew that Miranda had tried to hit on him many times, and worse he knew how much it bugged her. Of course, the current situation presented a great opportunity for vengeance. "Well, maybe I'll just have to tell your mother about what happened the last time Miranda said something about you when you're nervous."_

_ Shepard suddenly had a serious look, and the closest thing to fear she had ever seen on him crept onto his face. "You wouldn't…" _

_ Joker voice came over the intercom "We are now approaching Elysium, Commander. If you want to go round up the team we will be docked in around ten minutes."_

_ Tali spoke up "Joker, can you call them up? The Commander and I need to discuss something."_

_ Joker sounded snide, "Would you like me to seal the doors or do you care if the crew walks in?"_

_ Tali blushed. How was it that everyone knew they were together? How! "No Joker, it's fine." _

_ Joker just had to have the last comment "Well, I'll let you know when people are coming, just in case."_

_ Tali resumed her serious, brook-no-crap pose and stared at Shepard intently. "Shepard, listen to me. We are going to go to the Plaza, we are going to have lunch with your mother, and we are going to talk to her about us. Am I clear?"_

_ Shepard made as if to crack a joke, but he figured it would end better for him if he kept quiet. Tali wished he realized that more often, honestly. Just then the door slid open and the team came pouring in. There was Jack… smiling for once, which couldn't be a good thing for someone on Elysium. Thane, quite surprisingly, had actually come out of the life support room; he had never once opted to leave the _Normandy_ for anything not mission-critical. Maybe Shepard's talks with him had finally gotten through. Of course Ken was ready for some time away from the engines, and wherever he went Gabby went as well. Grunt had come -probably praying Shepard wouldn't try to make him eat ramen again- and so had Legion. Of course it thought it was a good idea to walk in the middle of a heavily populated human colony two years after the geth attacked Eden Prime! Actually, it looked like the entire crew was piling into the airlock. Tali didn't think she'd ever seen them all in one place before, except for in the Collector base but that was different._

_ As the whole crew felt the _Normandy_ shudder while it was docking, Shepard began to open the airlocks. "Okay, team! Twenty four hours shore leave, beginning… now!" The crew ran past like an avalanche, as Shepard turned to her. "Well, Miss vas Normandy, I do believe we have reservations for lunch, shall we go?" he said in a mock, formal voice. _

_ Tali graciously accepted the arm he offered and in an equally formal/mocking voice said "I believe we shall." Tali leaned her head against his shoulder, relishing the moment. She normally didn't show affection in public but Shepard had been helping her with her shyness._

_ Tali, without raising her head from its perch on Shepard's shoulder, uttered in a quiet voice those three words, "I love you." _

_ Shepard looked surprised for the briefest moment before a beaming grin broke out on his face. "I love you too, Tali." He joyously replied. _

_ Joker stood a few feet away from the ship, shaking his head as he watched the couple depart arm-in-arm. "The upside of being single, I don't look like a fool. Right, EDI?"_

_ EDI responded with the closest thing an AI could muster to sarcasm, "Indeed, Jeff."_

_ She had never imagined he would want her, but now she couldn't imagine being without him. They walked in silence for a moment, admiring their surroundings. Tali was amazed to be at the place where Shepard had first come into fame, where he had single-handedly held the line against the invading troops. Now that seemed like the least of his accomplishments, but still it was something to think about. Tali was in utter awe. As she peered across the soaring towers that dotted Elysium's urban jungle like mountains piercing the sky her jaw dropped open. She had never seen buildings this big! Well, maybe that wasn't true; the buildings on Nos Astra were in most cases taller than these. However she had never looked at those from the ground! She felt dizzy as she contemplated the vast heights. It was not lost on her that she -someone who had been raised in space, where several thousand kilometers was considered a short distance- was impressed by several-hundred-foot-tall buildings. She reached out to touch the wall of a nearby building. She ran her hand across the smooth surface for a moment before withdrawing it, inwardly bemoaning the cruel turn of fate that kept her bound in this suit._

_ She nuzzled in close to Shepard, clasping his hand in hers as they walked to meet Captain Hannah Shepard. She wondered at the Plaza as they entered. A beautifully carved archway covered in floral vines led onto a vast mosaic-tiled floor depicting the colonial seal, which just happened to incorporate the Hero of the Blitz. _

_ She leaned over and whispered "Shepard, they did a pretty poor job on recreating your face; you're not nearly that handsome in real life." _

_ Shepard rolled his eyes and gave an exasperated sigh. "You finally start acting outgoing and the first thing you do is insult me."_

_ Tali suddenly felt really bad about her joke. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to make you upset! I knew that I shouldn't have said anything. It's just that you're always saying I should try and be more open and to relax more and…" She stopped when she saw Shepard smirking at her._

_ Shepard leaned in and whispered, "I was kidding Tali. I'm just glad you're finally coming out of your shell." Tali hadn't ever heard that phrase before, but she nodded and tried not to think about it. As long as Shepard was okay then the rest didn't matter._

_ She looked around at the tables arrayed across the plaza, scanning the crowd, when she saw someone wave to them. She excitedly waved back and dragged Shepard by the arm toward his mother's table. As she approached Tali began to grow nervous. If she messed up this meeting Shepard's mother might very well disapprove of their relationship, which would not be a good thing considering the woman in question was captain of a dreadnought. She quickly sat down at the table and smoothed the fabric of her suit. Shepard approached the table like he might a thresher maw, or a rabid varren. _

_ Shepard's mother gave them both a warm smile before extending her hand in greeting towards Tali. "Hello, you must be Tali. I'm Hannah Shepard, Logan's mother. I'm pleased to meet you."_

_ Tali started repeating through her head 'don't mess this up, don't mess this up'. "Hello, Captain Shepard. I'm glad we could meet on such short notice." _

_ The older woman gave a delighted laugh before saying "Such manners! I'm glad to see you've found a nice girl this time, Logan" at which Shepard gave a loud groan. "I remember when you were younger -aboard a military starship no less!- you always managed to find the most rude or strange people aboard the ship! Like that one with all the tattoos who swore like a truck driver!"_

_ Tali cast a curious yet amused glance at the man next to her. "Shepard! I'm sure Jack will be thrilled to hear you have a thing for foul-mouthed, tattooed women!" Shepard's mouth was agape. Tali thought she heard him mutter something along the lines of "Now you start to be funny around other people…" _

_ Ms. Shepard burst out laughing "And a good sense of humor too! It looks like you finally did right boy!"_

_ Tali nodded graciously, "Thank you, Captain Shepard."_

_ She just chuckled and replied "Call me Hannah, dear."_

_ Tali simply nodded again. "Very well… Hannah." Apparently with humans addressing an elder by their first name was a big deal or a sign of approval. She hadn't messed up yet._

_ Hannah leant across the table toward her son, "Now, dear, why don't you ever message me? It took you three weeks to find out you were alive and who-knows-how-long to tell me you've got a girlfriend!" She turned toward Tali, not even waiting for the response which she knew would be mediocre, "Since I know he's not going to spill anything, I'd better ask you the real questions. First off, is my boy treating you right?" Shepard gave an indignant gasp._

_ "Yes, Captain- I mean Hannah. Your son is quite the gentleman. He's actually the one who said we should pursue the relationship, I was going to leave things be." Tali's heart was beating intensely; so far, so good. Just don't mess everything up!_

_ Hannah smiled as she talked, "Well, it's good to see he's finally whipped himself into shape!" At which another indignant sound came from the general direction of Shepard. "And I know Logan's ears are going to be burning hotter than the sun, but can I be expecting grandkids?" And yet another sound of indignation. _

_ "I don't think Shepard's comfortable talking about that…" She said quietly._

_ Hannah just laughed, "Okay, Logan, you can leave for a moment. It's time for girl talk. Actually you probably can just stay wherever until you leave, this is really just to meet the new girlfriend. And you're scoring a lot of points so far, dear." _

_ As Shepard quickly fled the site Tali leaned in and said in a low voice, "Shepard doesn't know, but I've had our science officer begin research on some possible genetics treatments to create 'compatibility' in that department." She wasn't sure if that was the right thing to say, or if it made sense, but she wanted to be honest. She hadn't told anyone else about her secret project. _

_ The older woman grinned mischievously, "Your secret's safe with me girl, I want grandkids and I'm getting them if he plans for it or not. Also, why do you call him by his last name?"_

_ Tali didn't really have an answer so she just came up with one. "Well, I didn't even know his first name until a couple of days ago, which is odd considering we've been friends for a long time. I mean, he introduces himself as 'Commander Shepard' to everyone, so that's the name everyone uses."_

_ Shepard came running back, looking like he needed to say something. "Mom, could you and I talk alone for a moment? Tali, could you just head back to the _Normandy_, and we can meet up there?" _

_ Tali got up from her chair and gave Hannah a quick farewell before turning to leave. Shepard gave her a quick hug before she left. They tended to hug a lot more than other couples, because she was stuck inside her suit. She was a little shy about doing stuff in public, but she had been trying to get better about her shyness… for Shepard's sake._


	5. Chapter 5

Ashley was impressed. Whether by Tali being more outgoing or how well she interacted with Shepard's mother she couldn't decide. "Did Shepard tell you what they talked about?"

Tali shook her head. "He wouldn't say anything about it. I thought that it might be something bad and that's why he didn't want to tell me, so I wouldn't worry. He said that my fears were misplaced."

Ashley wondered about the 'not worrying' part. "Well, I'm glad to hear that you got along with Shepard's mother."

Tali smiled, even though Ashley couldn't see it. "Hannah is a very nice person! She's also funny. I was afraid that I might embarrass myself, but Shepard said I did fine."

Ashley asked what had been at the back of her mind throughout Tali's tale. "What do Quarians usually do when they meet their partner's parents?"

Tali started to talk immediately, She always liked to talk about Quarian culture. "The general tradition is to present a gift that shows your care and dedication. The parents then accept or deny the gift depending on if they give consent. The gift is always given before any wedding rituals, and if the parent's deny it doesn't prevent marriage. I kind of wish I had told Shepard about the tradition before he met Auntie Raan."

Ashley tried as hard as she could to not bring up her father at that point. "How'd that go? By the way you say that I imagine it didn't turn out the best for Shepard."

Tali nodded. "Auntie Raan's always been a bit protective. It ended up okay in the end, though…"

_Tali fidgeted nervously as the _Normandy_ docked with the _Rayya_ yet again. She knew better than anyone how protective her Auntie Raan could be, and she was frightened that Shepard might make a bad impression which could lead to a lot of trouble further down the road. She knew it was hypocritical of her to be nervous after all she bugged Shepard about his nervousness meeting his mother._

_ Shepard saw her out of the corner of his eye and spoke up, "Tali, everything's going to be fine. I'm the one who's going to try and explain 'us' to one of the most powerful people on the largest fleet in the galaxy, and you're the one getting nervous!" He wrapped is arm around her in a tight embrace which she returned gratefully._

_ Shepard was right, of course. Shepard was charismatic, charming; and if that failed him she was there to back him up. And hopefully Shepard's outspoken defense for her at the trial might help his case. However, she couldn't help but flinch slightly as the airlock hissed open. She -displaying a confidence she in no way felt- stepped boldly onto her home ship, determinedly placing one foot before another, striding along corridors that led to the plaza where they had held the trial. She nodded to people she vaguely recognized but still she pushed onward, as might someone who went toward a death sentence. She took a deep breath before finally walking into the room where her fate aboard the Migrant Fleet had been decided._

_ Auntie Raan saw them almost immediately and began to walk toward them, by which is meant Shepard, with a notably forceful step. Tali gulped as the Admiral finally got over to them. Shala'Raan spoke in a warm, loving tone "Tali, it is so good to see you."She leaned in and gave Tali a big hug before turning toward Shepard and adopting a much icier tone. "Commander Shepard." she hissed. _

_ Shepard just took it in stride, extending his hand toward the Admiral. "It is a pleasure to see you again, Admiral."_

_ Auntie Raan ignored the proffered hand before turning toward Tali again. "So Tali, what is this about you and the Commander." This time she didn't even give the courtesy of a name._

_ Tali gulped audibly before continuing uncertainly, "Yes, Shepard and I have been… dating, I guess…. for a little while. Since a couple days after the trial." She put stress on the words 'the trial', hoping to remind Auntie Raan who had prevented her exile. _

_ The Admiral turned her head sharply toward Shepard. "It sounds to me as if someone is taking advantage of a younger woman's gratitude." Not the desired effect by any means. Actually, Tali was kind of insulted by this._

_ "Auntie Raan, I'm not a child; I can think for myself!" however Tali's 'aunt' would hear none of it. _

_ "Tali, dear, could you leave the Commander and I alone for a moment." Tali swore that her heart stopped for a moment out of fear._

_ In any case, she complied. She walked away and cast a sympathetic look toward Shepard over her shoulder. Tali wasn't quite sure what they talked about, but she heard the word 'Bosh'tet' numerous times, and something about an airlock. Eventually Auntie Raan called her back over, and shooed Shepard away. She came to the conclusion that she didn't want to know about their conversation, as Shepard had a more frightened look plastered onto his face than she could ever recall. _

_ Tali came to a stop at about the spot where Shepard had stood. "Yes, Auntie Raan? What do you want to talk about?"_

_ The Admiral put on a commanding, authoritative voice. "I want to hear your explanation for all of this."_

_ Tali spoke confidently, more confidently than she ever had talked to Auntie Raan before. She spoke not from her oft scattered brain, but from her heart. "I don't see what I need to explain! I knew Shepard for a long time, he was my first and greatest friend aboard the first _Normandy_ -for that matter he was probably the greatest friend I've ever had! - and I always sort of had a crush on him. Then he died, and I was heartbroken. You have to remember that, I locked myself away for weeks! Two years later I meet him again, just as I knew him, and he invites me to join him. All those feelings came rushing back in an instant, and I felt all of that love again. It killed me to refuse! Weeks later he yet again saves me, this time on Haestrom, and all I can think about is how happy I am to see his face again. I was still uncertain, I didn't know if he even liked me, but after everything he did for me at the trial I knew that I loved him. He comforted me when Father died, he prevented my exile. He always made sure I was comfortable, or that I was feeling well. I love Shepard more than I have ever loved anyone; all I ask is your approval."_

_ Auntie Raan was dumbstruck by Tali's speech. Finally she said something after a horrifying silence. "You were never this good of an orator; Shepard must have been giving you lessons." She chuckled a bit at her own joke. "As long as you are happy, then I approve. It's obvious he's as stricken with you from the fact that he's sticking around for you after all that I threatened him with."_

_ Tali chuckled anxiously as she started backing away toward the docking station. She almost got away before Auntie Raan called out to her in a curious, mildly accusatory tone. "One last thing. Have you two… 'linked suits' so to speak?" Tali was slightly embarrassed by how her aunt shouted that out._

_ Tali kept on backing away before turning and yelling "Shepard, run for the _Normandy!_" She then made good upon her own advice and bolted down the corridor, faintly hearing her Aunt yelling in the distance._

Ashley was laughing as Tali finished her story. She could just picture the look on Shepard's face. She then took on a more serious attitude. "Well Tali, it's obvious that you and Shepard are happy, and I won't do anything to hamper that. I'm glad that you two found each other, even if it means he and I are done." Then she suddenly thought about something, "Wait you said you're researching a way to conceive?"

Tali quietly said "Yes, but I don't want Shepard or the others to know. You're the only person besides Mordin that I've told, and I only told him because he's the only one who could get a working experiment.

"Why are you trying to get pregnant when the Reapers are coming?" Ash was surprised that Tali hadn't thought about that.

"Well, the Reapers are not expected to arrive for a few years, and…" Tali faltered in her search for a proper explanation.

She pressed even more, "Tali, if you can't give me a good reason for this I feel obliged to tell Shepard what you're doing. It isn't right for him to not have a say."

* * *

Tali barely registered what Ashley said before she was overcome by emotions. She just burst out with what she felt. "Ash, the Reapers are coming and an age of darkness and suffering is coming with them. I just want to find whatever happiness I can, with the man I love, before we all embark on a mission that most likely none of us will survive! If I told Shepard what I was doing he would respond exactly how you're responding, and try to stop me. If Mordin's research is successful, then I can face death having had a real family of my own, knowing that I had just for a moment -just for a fleeting moment!- known what it was like to be responsible for another life, and been able to share that with Shepard. Even more so I want Shepard to finally have something to fight for, something he himself feels a personal desire to protect. I want him to have something to love, and to cherish. I want him to be happy. And if I have to go behind his back to do that then so be it."

Ashley was taken by complete surprise, and just stood there gaping. "I… I don't know what to say. I promise you I won't tell Shepard." She paused for a moment before saying "How about you get me acquainted with the new crew?

Tali nodded emphatically. They beat the Collectors, she finally had the love of her life, she might soon be with child and now one of her greatest friends was with her again. It seemed that just when everything was perfect, it got better.


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, the rest of the story is going to a bit more on the humorous side than before, and it's going to keep that tone until the final chapter. I've shortened the story a bit, so although this was supposed to be chapter 7, it's now chapter 6. And by shortened it, I mean I completely retooled the second chapter and heavily edited the others. _**

Ashley instinctively took up a defensive posture when a petite, oriental woman appeared seemingly from thin air and walked up to her, saying "That was beautiful! No wonder Shep liked you!"

Kasumi tilted her head curiously, "Someone's a little jumpy. And Tali! Why didn't you tell me you were trying for a kid? You knew I would find out anyway, so why not just come directly to me?"

Tali nodded her head in exasperation. "Hello, Kasumi." She turned toward Ashley, who was just now letting her guard down, "Ashley, this is my friend Kasumi Goto."

Ashley paused for a moment for she remembered hearing that name somewhere. "I think I heard about you on the news."

Kasumi gave a light-hearted chuckle, saying "Then I guess I've been slipping up."

Ashley just vaguely nodded, wondering at the sudden intrusion. "It's… um… a pleasure to meet you, Kasumi."

Kasumi just ignored the other woman's discomfort. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Chief! I feel like I already know you, with all that Tali told me about your time on the old _Normandy_… that is, when she wasn't being jealous of how you had Shepard."

Tali let out a groan. "Kasumi! Please!"

Ashley arched an eyebrow at Tali. "Oh, is that so?"

Kasumi looked at Tali with an amused glint in her eye. "Oh yes. She always was talking about how much she loved Shepard, and how she wished he'd notice her. She talked about how lucky you were, because he could see your face, and how he would never love her when he could be with someone like Miranda…"

Tali interrupted her, something which Ashley found remarkable. "Well, Kasumi, I think maybe you should just go sit by the bar and leave us for a bit."

Ashley raised her eyebrows in a mix of slight shock and a healthy dose of excitement. "The new _Normandy_ has a lounge?"

Tali waved her hand, indicating that she should be quiet. "Most people don't know that. Jacob still says that the next _Normandy_ gets a lounge, because he's completely unaware that he's maybe five minutes away from the current one."

Ashley just shook her head in confusion. She didn't understand how the crew couldn't have figured it out by now. "So almost no one knows?"

This time Kasumi spoke up. "Just Tali, Shep and now you. Although I think Miranda's raided my room for drinks… and maybe Zaeed. Also Joker was pretty shaky walking away from my room."

Ashley dryly stated "That would have nothing to do with the fact that he was crippled nearly all of his life."

Kasumi acquiesced the point. "Okay. That may have been it. But it seemed that he was a bit shakier than usual." Ashley just rolled her eyes. "You know what, Chief? I like you already. I think we'll get along real well." At that she cloaked herself and disappeared through the door.

Ashley just stood there, staring blankly into space, before straightening up and saying. "I have a feeling meeting the new crew is going to be a blast" in a heavily sarcastic tone.

Tali nodded gravely, "They take some time to get used to, but they're mostly good people. On the bright side now there's only nine squadmates to go!"

Ashley corrected her, "Actually I met someone name Jack earlier. I don't think she's part of the regular crew."

Tali seemed relieved. "Okay, Jack's one of the aggressive ones." That was the closest Ash had ever heard to Tali insulting someone. Other than Shepard, apparently…

Ashley simply reached her hands up to palm her face. It was going to be a long, long integration period. "Well, let's get on with it then. Who's next on your list?"

Tali regarded her options with disdain. "The two closest to here are Grunt and Zaeed. So do you want to meet the perfect krogan or the man who acts like Wrex?"

Ashley too regarded her options, "Let's go with the Krogan." Although she had never said this aloud she had always been somewhat irked by Wrex's behavior. He would always talk about his old jobs as a mercenary, or tell you disturbing information about how he had killed someone. "Now, when you say this Zaeed guy acts like Wrex…"

Tali nodded in understanding. "He's old, angry and violent. Likes to talk about old jobs. He once told me how you can pry off a krogan's crest." Ashley mulled over that. Just like Wrex.

At around this point they reached the port end of the hallway, and the doors hissed open automatically in response. The first thing that struck her, rather than the extremely large humanoid pacing about angrily, was a large, empty tank at the back of the room. It was like a gigantic test tube, being easily eight feet in height. What was its purpose? She snapped to attention as the pacing stopped. Then she was struck by the exceptional krogan. He looked… different than most others she had seen. She hadn't really noticed back at the embassy, but he was obviously not normal. First off he had bony ridges on his head, as opposed to a single large plate, and his head seemed to be in a more human position. Or maybe it was because he lacked that large back hump most krogan have, and that made his head seem different. She remembered Wrex saying something about the back humps being a status symbol of sorts, and growing with age and success.

The krogan, Grunt, said in a gravelly voice. "You are the human that my battlemaster spoke of. He said you would be valuable. I will fight alongside you, for you have the respect of Shepard, and so you have my respect." Then he began to turn around, as if he was done talking.

Ashley was dumbstruck, "Wow, aren't you straight forward! Just like Wrex, if a little more eloquent."

Grunt turned around with some emotion she couldn't quite place etched on his face. Pride, maybe? "It is an honor to be compared to the leader of my clan. Thank you." He then proceeded to ignore them entirely.

Ashley turned around, confused, walked out into the corridor, and began heading toward the Starboard side. "What exactly just happened? And what was that about Wrex being his clan leader?"

Tali started to talk, "Well, after we drifted apart, Wrex went back to Tuchanka and took over Clan Urdnot. He's trying to unite the clans and rebuild the Krogan. Grunt holds him in high regards, so I guess he was proud that you could say he was like Wrex."

Ashley chuckled, "So he's Wrex's number one fan?" she said as a joke. She didn't think krogan could be fanboys.

Tali paused for a moment, then said "Not quite, but pretty close. He doesn't worship him or anything like some people worship celebrities, but he's definitely a fan."

Ashley simply said "Huh…" before entering Starboard Cargo and beholding one of the strangest sights she had ever seen. An aged man sitting hunched over an assault rifle, whispering soothingly to it as he cleaned it. He seemed completely oblivious until Tali spoke up "Hello, Zaeed."

Zaeed sat bolt upright, surveyed the room quickly before his eyes settled on the quarian. "Shit, girl! Caught me by surprise! And who's this?" He closed, gazing at Ashley. Ash, however, was distracted looking at his blank eye; it certainly made him look a hell of a lot more frightening! Zaeed noticed this as he spoke again; "A bullet to the head leaves a hell of a mark, eh?"

Ashley was a little disturbed by his casual talk about being shot through the face; She could easily say she wouldn't be spending much time on the lower deck when Tali wasn't in Engineering… "So, um, Zaeed. I've heard about you; you were in the Blue Suns, right?"

Zaeed looked a little surprised, "Have you now? Even Shepard didn't know about me before Cerberus hired me."

Ashley nodded, saying "Alliance Intel is better than you might think."

Zaeed chuckled a bit, "I suppose it is, girl." Then fury seemed to quickly overcome his somewhat jovial behavior in a heartbeat, "And I wasn't just in the Blue Suns, girl! I led the Blue Suns; hell, I founded them! And look what it got me; twenty years of hatred and an ugly as hell scar!" He seemed to now be talking more to himself than anyone else, "I'll get Vido one day, as soon as I can I'm telling Shepard to help me track him, maybe get his Asari friend to help. I'll kill that bastard before I die…" He seemed to snap back to reality, "Well, it's been a pleasure meeting you girl, but I've got to get back to cleaning Jessie."

Ashley just nodded before slowly backing out of the room toward the elevator. Tali seemed unfazed by the entire encounter; she seemed pretty jaded to things like this. When they were about to enter the elevator and out of earshot of Zaeed, Ashley said "How did you end up on the deck with all the crazy people?"

Tali giggled, "I asked Shepard that once, he just apologized saying it was better for the crew if he kept the crazy people away from the normal ones, and the Engineering deck was the least visited by the crew."

Ashley walked into the elevator, with Tali saying "I think you'll prefer to spend time with the people on the crew deck."


	7. Author's Notice

Hey everybody!

I know it's been a while since I posted the last chapter, and I've been distracted by other writing projects. However, I'm mostly finished the next chapter, and have begun working on the remaining chapters. All that remains is for Ash to meet the crew and then the big shock ending! After this is done, I am going to write two stories continuing on from this; one story that chronicles the fight against the Reapers and the years of preparation preceding, and an accompanying romance/humor story that details daily life on the Normandy and important events in the characters' lives. That's all for this Author's Notice, and expect the next/final chapters to be up within the week.

Hope you enjoy it!

P.S. I will be taking requests or ideas for the stories about life on the Normandy!

P.P.S. I completely revised the story to try and make it more accurate for the characters, and to make it more clear. I think it works a lot better this way. What was going to be the next chapter is now chapter 6.

P.P.P.S I cut out the part about what the others did on Elysium. If you enjoyed it, I'll post it as a new story under 'Humor'. Make a request in the Comments.


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